Ok, so like lots of girls, I have this thing for men in uniforms...especially military uniforms! In high school and college I worked at a mall bookstore where a lot of the soldiers from the nearby air force base would come on their leave, and it was one of the greatest things EVER when they were on leave because they'd walk around in their camos, and once in a while they'd be in their dress uniforms, and they were always so polite, and my friend and I would become awful, giggly, melty masses of giddiness when they talked to us.
I also had this crazy obsession with that show JAG, about the Judge Advocate General corps, which is almost like the district attorney of the military. The main characters were a Naval officer guy and a Marine officer woman, and my best friend and I would watch the show over the phone every week if we couldn't actually be in the same room [and sometimes every night, because they played reruns on USA every day!] and just giggle over the hotness of the guys in uniform. Lame, I know, but AWESOME. Don't judge!
So, needless to say, when I started dating a Marine, it was like the biggest deal in the world for me. The two aforementioned friends were super excited, but not as excited as me! And when we got engaged? Fuggettaboutit! I mean, he's not currently IN the Marines [thank god...I wouldn't be able to handle the long distance and fear], but he was in for 4 years and honorably discharged, which means he can wear his dress blues to his wedding and have the saber ceremony.
WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN. He wants to wear his dress blues to our wedding! And we're going to have the saber ceremony at the end, where we walk underneath the arch of swords! I am SO EXCITED. And his best man was in the Marines too, so he's going to be in his blues, and I'm just...giddy with glee! I mean, this man is a dream come true for me already, but to have him in uniform??
So yes, I'm just so excited, and I had to share. :]
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
First Kiss
My first kiss was something sort of magical. I was 5, it was summer, and it was with my best friend, P.J. He and I used to spend the summers doing nothing and everything, like little kids do in the summer. We'd ride our bikes down the street, careful to avoid the sidewalk in front of the ugly brown house where the creepy old man would sit on the porch and yell at kids for being on his sidewalk.
P.J. and I lived down the street from one another; I lived in the middle of Audrey Terrace, and he lived 4 houses down, on the corner of Crescent Ave. and Audrey. We used to spend a lot of time by the hydrant on the corner furthest away from his house, planning to move to Florida together and marry each other. We were going to start a whale-watching business; he'd be the ship captain, and I'd run the business end of things from the house, and wait for him to come home every evening. I didn't really understand the concept of a widow's walk back then, but every time I read about a woman walking to the end of a pier or the end of her little balcony (literally, the widow's walk) waiting for her husband to come home, I'd think of P.J. and our plans. I imagined myself doing that same walk every evening, waiting for him to come home from work.
One morning we ran down to the fire hydrant closest to his house. I was sitting on top of it, my back to the street and his house to my left, when he told me to close my eyes. I asked why, and he said he had a surprise for me so I did. And then he kissed me. I remember the brief touch of his lips to mine; I don't remember if they were cold or warm, but I do remember that they felt firm against my lips. The sun was streaming through the trees around us, and there was a soft, warm breeze that kept me warm.
It was a sweet moment, and it will always be coupled with the memory of another neighborhood kid, our age, riding his bike past us at that moment and yelling "OOOOOOH I'M TELLING!!!!!" and then riding his bike down to my house where my mom was talking to P.J.'s mom. My eyes snapped open as he yelled it, and me and P.J. both gave out these crazy Tarzan yells and started running after him. Then, we denied the kiss to our parents.
P.J. and I lived down the street from one another; I lived in the middle of Audrey Terrace, and he lived 4 houses down, on the corner of Crescent Ave. and Audrey. We used to spend a lot of time by the hydrant on the corner furthest away from his house, planning to move to Florida together and marry each other. We were going to start a whale-watching business; he'd be the ship captain, and I'd run the business end of things from the house, and wait for him to come home every evening. I didn't really understand the concept of a widow's walk back then, but every time I read about a woman walking to the end of a pier or the end of her little balcony (literally, the widow's walk) waiting for her husband to come home, I'd think of P.J. and our plans. I imagined myself doing that same walk every evening, waiting for him to come home from work.
One morning we ran down to the fire hydrant closest to his house. I was sitting on top of it, my back to the street and his house to my left, when he told me to close my eyes. I asked why, and he said he had a surprise for me so I did. And then he kissed me. I remember the brief touch of his lips to mine; I don't remember if they were cold or warm, but I do remember that they felt firm against my lips. The sun was streaming through the trees around us, and there was a soft, warm breeze that kept me warm.
It was a sweet moment, and it will always be coupled with the memory of another neighborhood kid, our age, riding his bike past us at that moment and yelling "OOOOOOH I'M TELLING!!!!!" and then riding his bike down to my house where my mom was talking to P.J.'s mom. My eyes snapped open as he yelled it, and me and P.J. both gave out these crazy Tarzan yells and started running after him. Then, we denied the kiss to our parents.
Monday, December 22, 2008
This weekend was.
I got this idea from KylaBea, and thought it was adorable and wonderful.
This weekend was enjoying my engagement. It was shopping for Christmas ornaments, lights, presents. It was decorating a tree together for the first time, putting up an owl instead of a star or an angel. It was basking in the glow of our beautiful, first tree. This weekend was bustling through the freezing cold wind to explore a beautiful apartment; being attacked by beautiful dogs. It was cooking our first meal together, cuddling by the glow of our tree, being happy no matter what.
This weekend was solidifying friendships and getting giddy about wedding gown shopping, and getting The Perfect Haircut. It was having too many shots that tasted too good, laughing at dirty Secret Santa gifts, talking way too quickly and laughing way too loudly. It was laughing at the old people in the bar, too-strong martinis, celebratory shots and whispered smiles and congratulations. It was feeling warm in 15-degree weather.
This weekend was domestication: cooking together, cleaning together, cuddling each other and our kittens. It was cleaning out closets to make room for each other. It was watching the sun glint through the blinds, lighting up the pale bedroom with its wintry light. It was smiles for no reason, plotting about life
This weekend was the beginning of forever.
This weekend was enjoying my engagement. It was shopping for Christmas ornaments, lights, presents. It was decorating a tree together for the first time, putting up an owl instead of a star or an angel. It was basking in the glow of our beautiful, first tree. This weekend was bustling through the freezing cold wind to explore a beautiful apartment; being attacked by beautiful dogs. It was cooking our first meal together, cuddling by the glow of our tree, being happy no matter what.
This weekend was solidifying friendships and getting giddy about wedding gown shopping, and getting The Perfect Haircut. It was having too many shots that tasted too good, laughing at dirty Secret Santa gifts, talking way too quickly and laughing way too loudly. It was laughing at the old people in the bar, too-strong martinis, celebratory shots and whispered smiles and congratulations. It was feeling warm in 15-degree weather.
This weekend was domestication: cooking together, cleaning together, cuddling each other and our kittens. It was cleaning out closets to make room for each other. It was watching the sun glint through the blinds, lighting up the pale bedroom with its wintry light. It was smiles for no reason, plotting about life
This weekend was the beginning of forever.
Friday, December 19, 2008
GLEE
Because I can't make a public announcement until I've told certain people (well, I can, but I just don't feel it would be right), and this blog is anonymous, I need to shout it here:
I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited, and I love him SO much, and my ring is GORGEOUS!
I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited, and I love him SO much, and my ring is GORGEOUS!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A beginning
This is the start (or...re-start) of an attempt to blog. I feel like I used to have more interesting things to say while I was in law school than I do now...and it's funny, because while I was in law school, I'd read entries from my journal from college and think that in college I had more interesting things to say than while in law school. Is it just a "the grass is always greener" thing with respect to the past? Or is it really just that things have gotten a lot less interesting as I grow older?I dunno. My life is good. Maybe not interesting, but it makes me really happy. I have a nice apartment, though I really need to get out of it and stop paying rent out the butt; I have a good job that's total cake and I know I'm going to cry my eyes out next year when I have to leave it; I have an awesome boyfriend and we're going to start living in sin soon, and I'm really excited about that; I have 2 adorable kitties who like to meow their faces off at me, which I love; apparently an adorable little townhouse with a fireplace is actually within my financial reach RIGHT NOW, which is really nice to know; I (think) I have enough money to buy Christmas presents, as long as I'm frugal and spend less than I've spent in the past; I have good friends and fun things to do; once I move out I can get a puppyyyy!
In the last few weeks I've grown increasingly more optimistic. I don't know what it is, but out of nowhere my thinking shifted from what I don't have (money, clothing I like, a body I want) to things I DO have (love, laughter, a place to sleep and shower, a way to clean my clothes so that I don't look or smell homeless, job security, access to an in-building gym that's open 24/7 to GET the body I want and the will power to stop eating all the crap that keeps me from getting it). How did this happen, and when? Is this what growing up is like?
Yeah, there are a lot of things I still want (money, a trip to Greece, amazing shoes and accessories and clothing), but that will all come. I'm certainly not destitute. And you know, I'm sure that I could go shopping a little more often (or..at all) if I didn't constantly give money away to homeless people. But you know...while I may not have much, I have enough. They have NOTHING. I really don't need a new top more than a homeless person needs that extra dollar (or two, or five, or thirty, or whatever it adds up to now) to be able to finish paying for the bottle of water he's come short on at the 7-11. It's strange. There's a whooole lotta turmoil in my life right now, mostly related to money, and it's evidencing itself in my caloric intake again, because money issues are extraordinarily stressful...but everything else in my life really helps, somehow. I'm very much in love, and I'm very, very happy. I love my meow meows and they love me...and no, I'm still not a cat person. These are little doggies in kitty costumes, I swear. I swear to god Boy Cat barked last night.
But anyway...yeah. I'm so happy. Is this how it's supposed to be? In hindsight, I think that I've never really been in love before this, because shouldn't love make it so that everything bad in your life seems bearable, shouldn't it make it so that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel? I've never been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel before, but now I can. I'm so optimistic, because with the way I feel, how could anything possibly be bad? I don't need luxury. Yes, of course, I WANT luxury - who doesn't? But I don't NEED it, and I'm perfectly ok without it.When I was younger I used to have what I eventually grew to think of as a completely unrealistic expectation for love and my life. I used to tell people that I didn't care where I lived or how much money I had, so long as I had a person I loved with me. A direct quote from my diary, circa 7th grade: "I don't care if I live in a cardboard box, as long as he's with me, because he'll keep me dry from the rain and warm from the cold with his love." Stupid and mushy and childish, and as I got older and 'loved' people I stopped believing that; quote from my diary, circa freshman year of college: "Whoever said money can't buy you love is an idiot. You can't be happy if you don't have money, because you're always stressed out. All you do is fight and worry about money. Things won't be ok if you're homeless, no matter who's with you. It just can't work. You need money to make life ok, so that you can actually enjoy life with your loved ones."And now...I'm back to the idealistic 7th grade mentality. It CAN work; yeah, it's hard. Of course it's hard, because who doesn't worry when there's barely any extra money at the end of the month after bills alone, and it's hard to buy food? But why does money have to be the actual key to happiness? Why do you have to spend money in order to enjoy life? Sitting on the couch talking and laughing is free, and enjoyable; maybe not with everyone, but certainly with the right person. Walking down the street is free, and when you're holding hands with someone you love, somehow everything you see and hear and smell is brighter, more vibrant, clearer. It was never like this before, and now it is.
There have been bad times...and they matter, of course they matter. But the fact that we can grow from them and be better for it, and the fact that they can happen and I can STILL feel this way? That matters more to me.
I should probably just shut up now. This got really long, and I think I went on a tangent somewhere, but I don't remember where. LOL. I have work to do, and I'm not staying past 5. Woooo! I'm happy! And I'm not apologizing for it! Woooo!
In the last few weeks I've grown increasingly more optimistic. I don't know what it is, but out of nowhere my thinking shifted from what I don't have (money, clothing I like, a body I want) to things I DO have (love, laughter, a place to sleep and shower, a way to clean my clothes so that I don't look or smell homeless, job security, access to an in-building gym that's open 24/7 to GET the body I want and the will power to stop eating all the crap that keeps me from getting it). How did this happen, and when? Is this what growing up is like?
Yeah, there are a lot of things I still want (money, a trip to Greece, amazing shoes and accessories and clothing), but that will all come. I'm certainly not destitute. And you know, I'm sure that I could go shopping a little more often (or..at all) if I didn't constantly give money away to homeless people. But you know...while I may not have much, I have enough. They have NOTHING. I really don't need a new top more than a homeless person needs that extra dollar (or two, or five, or thirty, or whatever it adds up to now) to be able to finish paying for the bottle of water he's come short on at the 7-11. It's strange. There's a whooole lotta turmoil in my life right now, mostly related to money, and it's evidencing itself in my caloric intake again, because money issues are extraordinarily stressful...but everything else in my life really helps, somehow. I'm very much in love, and I'm very, very happy. I love my meow meows and they love me...and no, I'm still not a cat person. These are little doggies in kitty costumes, I swear. I swear to god Boy Cat barked last night.
But anyway...yeah. I'm so happy. Is this how it's supposed to be? In hindsight, I think that I've never really been in love before this, because shouldn't love make it so that everything bad in your life seems bearable, shouldn't it make it so that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel? I've never been able to see the light at the end of the tunnel before, but now I can. I'm so optimistic, because with the way I feel, how could anything possibly be bad? I don't need luxury. Yes, of course, I WANT luxury - who doesn't? But I don't NEED it, and I'm perfectly ok without it.When I was younger I used to have what I eventually grew to think of as a completely unrealistic expectation for love and my life. I used to tell people that I didn't care where I lived or how much money I had, so long as I had a person I loved with me. A direct quote from my diary, circa 7th grade: "I don't care if I live in a cardboard box, as long as he's with me, because he'll keep me dry from the rain and warm from the cold with his love." Stupid and mushy and childish, and as I got older and 'loved' people I stopped believing that; quote from my diary, circa freshman year of college: "Whoever said money can't buy you love is an idiot. You can't be happy if you don't have money, because you're always stressed out. All you do is fight and worry about money. Things won't be ok if you're homeless, no matter who's with you. It just can't work. You need money to make life ok, so that you can actually enjoy life with your loved ones."And now...I'm back to the idealistic 7th grade mentality. It CAN work; yeah, it's hard. Of course it's hard, because who doesn't worry when there's barely any extra money at the end of the month after bills alone, and it's hard to buy food? But why does money have to be the actual key to happiness? Why do you have to spend money in order to enjoy life? Sitting on the couch talking and laughing is free, and enjoyable; maybe not with everyone, but certainly with the right person. Walking down the street is free, and when you're holding hands with someone you love, somehow everything you see and hear and smell is brighter, more vibrant, clearer. It was never like this before, and now it is.
There have been bad times...and they matter, of course they matter. But the fact that we can grow from them and be better for it, and the fact that they can happen and I can STILL feel this way? That matters more to me.
I should probably just shut up now. This got really long, and I think I went on a tangent somewhere, but I don't remember where. LOL. I have work to do, and I'm not staying past 5. Woooo! I'm happy! And I'm not apologizing for it! Woooo!
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