Reflections on debt

I love winter. I love running around feeling too cold, and then entering the blissfully warm building that's your final destination, or even just running inside a random store that you wouldn't otherwise go into just to get warm. I love snow, and I LOVE walking outside at night all bundled up with the person you love looking up at the sky as snow starts to fall against the artificially-starry nightscape of your city. I love fireplaces! And coming home to a warm snuggly kitty!

I don't love getting up in the morning to go to work in the freezing cold, BUT this weather has really forced me to be a little more creative with my outfits for work. I've been stuck in this crazy rut for the last few months, where although I have more clothing than can fit in my walk-in closet, I seem to wear the same 5 things. I don't know what happened, because I used to have a lot of fun coming up with cute and creative outfits, and I rarely repeated. Actually, I think that's what happened - I started liking this guy, and I constantly wanted to look cute, and I became increasingly dissatisfied with what I owned because he'd already seen me in it, so I started shopping. Every other day. You know....now that back, I realize that that's how I got into so much debt, too. Shopping constantly, when I had no money. They used to warn us at school not to live like a lawyer before we were actually lawyers, and I was so good about following that for a while, and all of a sudden....it was gone. I was at the mall 3-4 times a week, easily dropping $300 each time. It was like I was in a frenzy and I had no control over my actions; I'd walk around in sort of a daze, buying tons of stuff, actually getting a rush every time I handed over my credit card. And then all of a sudden, I'd snap out of it, realize I had a whole bunch of bags in my hands, and I'd do a quick mental tally and realize that - yet again - I'd hit almost $300.

And it's not like I didn't buy a ton of stuff for $300; I'm not above shopping at Forever 21. It was my stomping ground. At least that's one good thing; I shopped so much that now I have a bajillion pieces that I can layer and pair in new ways. But yeah, I guess I just lost my creative touch because I was constantly buying new things and I didn't NEED to be creative. But now that I'm in so much debt, I can't shop anymore. For a while I was all "Boo hoo, I have no money and therefore I have nothing to wear," but now I've finally snapped out of it. Just in the last week, but still.

It's really awesome, actually, because I've started doing what I never understoof before: looking at outfits on television, in magazines and in movies, and noting one or two key pieces that I should get for the season. I've heard people talk about how they'd make lists of the two or three items they needed to buy each year, and I never GOT that - until now. It's awesome, because it means that I'm developing an ability to be frugal AND stylish. I've always had a strong sense of my own personal style, but for the longest time I thought it meant constantly having to replenish my wardrobe. Thank god I've grown out of that.