I was driving to work this morning and got stuck behind some awful PA driver who didn't realize that the left lane is the FAST lane, so I'd accelerate because he would, and then all of a sudden he'd slow down so I'd have to too, it was SO ANNOYING.
But that's besides the point. While I was doing that I realized that driving a car is like, the ultimate laziness. I mean, yeah, it's necessary, especially in New Jersey where there's like no public transportation whatsoever, and things are so far away that it's kind of hard to use a bike (maybe I'd ride a bike to work when it's nice out, but it's still way too cold right now BOO). But...think about it. If you want to go faster, instead of working harder like you would if you were running or swimming or biking, you...simply flex your foot a little. An inch down and all of a sudden you're moving really fast. Want to go slower? No problem, you don't have to change your effort at all - just let your foot relax upwards. Instant reduction in speed!
I don't really have a point, I just realized how driving is like the exact opposite of doing anything healthy or good for you. For some reason that amused me, so...here you have it, a blog post about absolutely nothing! hahaha...I'm in such a weird mood today.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
just a thought
Haha so I just realized that my posts have become primarily about weight loss. Is that my thing? Possibly. I hope not! I like think that I have more going on than my struggle with my body. Hmmm...we'll see!
Oh thank god!
Ok, so my last post was about feeling frustrated and not understanding why I was putting on weight despite the fact that I was eating properly and exercising. I found an article that may have shed a little light on it. I don't like the answer, but if that's what it is, I prefer this to me actually having gained real weight.
The most relevant part of the article:
So, that makes me feel a lot better. Hopefully that's what's going on with me, and I can overcome it soon enough. For the full the article, go here: I've Started Working Out; Why am I Still Gaining Weight? by Dan Falkenberg.
I got some great advice, too, about just working hard, making good choices and changes, and focusing on the changes in my body rather than the number on the scale. I think that I'm really going to take that to heart; I'm still going to take part in the challenge, but I'm going to try to stop focusing so much on the number.
The most relevant part of the article:
"If you remember, your body’s source of energy comes from glucose. Carbohydrates are broken down into glucose, the glucose is used to make energy, and your body performs how it needs to. Well, your body also has a “reserve tank” for excess glucose. Instead of storing all the excess glucose as fat, your body stores some of the excess glucose in an easier form to break down for energy; it’s called glycogen. Glycogen is long chains of glucose molecules that are stored in our muscles and liver.
Working out too intensely can cause muscle tears to become overly inflamed to the point where the mini-tears start to swell with fluid.
Your body adapts to how much glycogen it needs to store in order to have enough “energy” on stand-by for when your blood sugar starts to drop because there isn’t enough glucose in the bloodstream from the food you last ate. When we start to exercise, our bodies require more energy and become more efficient at getting that energy, so as a result, our bodies start to store more glycogen. Here’s the kicker. For every gram of glycogen stored, approximately 3 grams of water are stored with it. This means that now your body has a larger amount of water and glycogen stored in the muscles and liver, and as a result, your body weight can go up by a few lbs.
Picture a piece of bread or pasta noodle. What happens when you put them in water? They’re like sponges. They soak up the water and expand. The same can be said with glycogen. Glycogen is a carb, and it sucks up water just like any other carb.
Here’s another culprit. If you go from not working out to working out very hard, your muscles will most likely be sore for the next 2 or 3 days. This is because when you work out, you essentially create mini-tears in your muscles. Working out too intensely can cause these tears to become overly inflamed to the point where the mini-tears start to swell with fluid. This excess fluid in the muscles can cause an initial, excess weight gain. By starting out an exercise program slowly and working your way up, you reduce the likelihood of tearing your muscles too much. To some extent, though, muscle soreness will occur when you first start exercising, but the amount of soreness and inflammation can be controlled by gradually working into a fitness program."
So, that makes me feel a lot better. Hopefully that's what's going on with me, and I can overcome it soon enough. For the full the article, go here: I've Started Working Out; Why am I Still Gaining Weight? by Dan Falkenberg.
I got some great advice, too, about just working hard, making good choices and changes, and focusing on the changes in my body rather than the number on the scale. I think that I'm really going to take that to heart; I'm still going to take part in the challenge, but I'm going to try to stop focusing so much on the number.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
BMR, weight loss, general frustrations
So, I understand the mechanics of weight loss. Calories in must be less than calories burned. 3500 calories = 1 pound. To lose 1 pound a week there must be a deficit of 3500 calories each week, whether you achieve it by exercising more or eating less or a combination of the two. And in order to accurately gauge what you can take in each day or what you have to burn each day to get to that point, you have to know your BMR. I GET it.
What I don't get is...how do I calculate my BMR? Some calculators tell me I burn 1500 calories a day; some tell me I burn 2400 a day. I'm more inclined to go with the 1500 value because after all the years of torturing it, my metabolism is really slow and I find 2400 to be a really unrealistic number, given that I don't weigh THAT much. But then...to lose a single pound a week, I'd have to have a deficit of, on average, 500 calories a day. Which puts me at 1000 a day. Totally doable, I really have no problem with it - and that's what's suggested at Ash is Fit, but I feel like that value is a crazy in-between, where it's too much and too little for weight loss. You're getting just enough not to starve to death, but just little enough that your body potentially goes into starvation mode and holds on to those calories, regardless of deficit.
Is my assessment of this right? I mean...seriously, I don't know what to do. Eating 1200 a day and doing cardio (pure cardio, as I put on muscle really quickly and wanted to see how the weight would go) daily to burn 200 calories a day for a week led to a weight gain of 1.4 pounds. This week I've reduced cals to 1150 and upped my calorie burn to 250, so I'll technically be at 900 intake overall, which is a deficit of 4200...but I feel even worse than I did last week. I don't really know if I'm going to lose this week at all; I actually feel like I'm going to gain. I weigh myself daily just to see what direction I'm headed in, and it looks like I'm still headed up. I just...don't understand.
So..............where do I go? What do I do? Up, down? I've had success with 500 calories a day and doing cardio + strength training. I've had success up to 700 calories a day. But I am honest to god trying to be healthy this time around, and it doesn't seem to be working. It's like a crazy vicious (viscsious?? visious??) cycle. So where do I go from here??
Roar!
What I don't get is...how do I calculate my BMR? Some calculators tell me I burn 1500 calories a day; some tell me I burn 2400 a day. I'm more inclined to go with the 1500 value because after all the years of torturing it, my metabolism is really slow and I find 2400 to be a really unrealistic number, given that I don't weigh THAT much. But then...to lose a single pound a week, I'd have to have a deficit of, on average, 500 calories a day. Which puts me at 1000 a day. Totally doable, I really have no problem with it - and that's what's suggested at Ash is Fit, but I feel like that value is a crazy in-between, where it's too much and too little for weight loss. You're getting just enough not to starve to death, but just little enough that your body potentially goes into starvation mode and holds on to those calories, regardless of deficit.
Is my assessment of this right? I mean...seriously, I don't know what to do. Eating 1200 a day and doing cardio (pure cardio, as I put on muscle really quickly and wanted to see how the weight would go) daily to burn 200 calories a day for a week led to a weight gain of 1.4 pounds. This week I've reduced cals to 1150 and upped my calorie burn to 250, so I'll technically be at 900 intake overall, which is a deficit of 4200...but I feel even worse than I did last week. I don't really know if I'm going to lose this week at all; I actually feel like I'm going to gain. I weigh myself daily just to see what direction I'm headed in, and it looks like I'm still headed up. I just...don't understand.
So..............where do I go? What do I do? Up, down? I've had success with 500 calories a day and doing cardio + strength training. I've had success up to 700 calories a day. But I am honest to god trying to be healthy this time around, and it doesn't seem to be working. It's like a crazy vicious (viscsious?? visious??) cycle. So where do I go from here??
Roar!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Finding Grace, Day 12
1. Friday!!
2. Falling down, and being able to pick myself right back up again.
3. Realizing that just being IN a buddy group is incredibly helpful to #2.
4. Really interesting assignments at work.
5. Planned dinner with friends this weekend!
2. Falling down, and being able to pick myself right back up again.
3. Realizing that just being IN a buddy group is incredibly helpful to #2.
4. Really interesting assignments at work.
5. Planned dinner with friends this weekend!
Week 1 weigh in
I'm up 1.4 today from my start weight. I'm feeling really dejected actually...especially after I was down 1 pound two days after the initial weigh in. That day, I thought "Yes! And that's after I couldn't exercise yesterday! So let me exercise today!" and then I went up half a pound the next day. And it happened again, and again, after each work out.
I know that I gain muscle quickly. And my clothing is already fitting better, after just 1 week. My face even looks better in pictures already. But it's still so...dejecting. I know logically it's probably because I'm retaining water (which happens for a bit right after I start working out) and I might have gained some muscle (which happens almost immediately, especially in my legs). But....still. I could already see it coming every morning as I got on the scale and I saw it creep up, but I still clung to hope.
Well...there's nothing to be done. I'll let myself be disappointed for however long it takes me to finish this post, and then it's done. I'll look forward to next week, I'm sure I can catch up. That muscle (at least, I hope it's muscle!!) will start kicking into calorie-burning mode soon, and I'll catch up. I'll be healthier and my clothes will fit better, even if the number doesn't go down. I can do this.
I know it seems silly, but even though I'm sure my whole group has gotten losses this week, it's still really helpful to know that there's a sort of built-in support group. They can lose, so can I! Even if mine is slower, they're there being encouraging JUST by being part of my group and checking in each day. Knowing I have to write in and check in is really...encouraging to me, somehow. Even if I have bad news to report, I look forward to hearing their good news and hopefully giving them good news one day soon! So..I guess this buddy group thing is working out for me. :)
I know that I gain muscle quickly. And my clothing is already fitting better, after just 1 week. My face even looks better in pictures already. But it's still so...dejecting. I know logically it's probably because I'm retaining water (which happens for a bit right after I start working out) and I might have gained some muscle (which happens almost immediately, especially in my legs). But....still. I could already see it coming every morning as I got on the scale and I saw it creep up, but I still clung to hope.
Well...there's nothing to be done. I'll let myself be disappointed for however long it takes me to finish this post, and then it's done. I'll look forward to next week, I'm sure I can catch up. That muscle (at least, I hope it's muscle!!) will start kicking into calorie-burning mode soon, and I'll catch up. I'll be healthier and my clothes will fit better, even if the number doesn't go down. I can do this.
I know it seems silly, but even though I'm sure my whole group has gotten losses this week, it's still really helpful to know that there's a sort of built-in support group. They can lose, so can I! Even if mine is slower, they're there being encouraging JUST by being part of my group and checking in each day. Knowing I have to write in and check in is really...encouraging to me, somehow. Even if I have bad news to report, I look forward to hearing their good news and hopefully giving them good news one day soon! So..I guess this buddy group thing is working out for me. :)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Motivations
I'm 25 now and I'm very different, in a lot of ways, from the person I was at 13, 14, 15, etc. But one of the biggest ways I'm the same is that I still have the same motivation for wanting to lose weigh: I want to be hot!
I lie a lot about my motivations for it, because people tend to look at me like I'm nuts if I say that. I mean, to be honest, I tend to keep weight loss/diet attempts secret from everyone but my fiance anyway, because people tend to tell me I'm crazy and I don't need to lose weight, and then they get mad at me. I would get it if I were scarily skinny, if I already weighed 110 pounds or something...but I don't. I am 5 feet and 1.5 inches tall, and I weight 155 pounds. That is not underweight. That is not even within my 'healthy' range. So why people get angry at me, I have no idea, but I like to avoid it.
Anyway, I digress. My true motivation has always been "I just don't want to be fat." I simply, truly want to be hot and thin. I can be hot, I've BEEN hot. I guess technically I'm 'hot' now, as I have that crazy true hourglass shape and I carry my weight very well (I'm told I have dense bones). But I don't FEEL hot. I want to look good in a bikini, I want to look good in clothes. I know I'll always have difficulties with regular clothes and I'll never be able to just buy something off the rack without trying it on because of the way I'm shaped (small waist, LARGE breasts and hips/butt, and it's like that at all weights), but...I'd still like to feel good about myself. I'd still like to be happy with the way I look in the mirror.
But people don't get why I'm not happy with what I see in the mirror. So...I lie. I tell them the only reason I want to work out and lose weight is to just live a better lifestyle, to be healthy, etc. And sure, I *guess* those are reasons to do it. But honestly, I just. want. to be. hot.
Is that shallow? It has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with me, pure and simple. I don't like the way I look, and I intend to change that. I think I'm in a place now where I CAN be happy with the image in the mirror, if I get to the right place. I suspect that place is around 125. When I was 125 I wasn't happy...but I think I've grown enough to know that it was a good weight for me to be at, and hopefully I can get there without having too many problems.
I know this was really all over the place; when I think about weight loss and what I want and why I want it and where I know my mind needs to be, I get all discombobulated and can't really organize my thoughts well.
**In wedding related news, I went to my first bridal show yesterday! It was a little weird, but fun nevertheless! My parents and my fiance went with me, and we actually had a good time. And my bridesmaids, completely unexpectedly, are giving me ideas for the wedding itself, so I'm just so excited to have such great girls standing up with me!!
I lie a lot about my motivations for it, because people tend to look at me like I'm nuts if I say that. I mean, to be honest, I tend to keep weight loss/diet attempts secret from everyone but my fiance anyway, because people tend to tell me I'm crazy and I don't need to lose weight, and then they get mad at me. I would get it if I were scarily skinny, if I already weighed 110 pounds or something...but I don't. I am 5 feet and 1.5 inches tall, and I weight 155 pounds. That is not underweight. That is not even within my 'healthy' range. So why people get angry at me, I have no idea, but I like to avoid it.
Anyway, I digress. My true motivation has always been "I just don't want to be fat." I simply, truly want to be hot and thin. I can be hot, I've BEEN hot. I guess technically I'm 'hot' now, as I have that crazy true hourglass shape and I carry my weight very well (I'm told I have dense bones). But I don't FEEL hot. I want to look good in a bikini, I want to look good in clothes. I know I'll always have difficulties with regular clothes and I'll never be able to just buy something off the rack without trying it on because of the way I'm shaped (small waist, LARGE breasts and hips/butt, and it's like that at all weights), but...I'd still like to feel good about myself. I'd still like to be happy with the way I look in the mirror.
But people don't get why I'm not happy with what I see in the mirror. So...I lie. I tell them the only reason I want to work out and lose weight is to just live a better lifestyle, to be healthy, etc. And sure, I *guess* those are reasons to do it. But honestly, I just. want. to be. hot.
Is that shallow? It has nothing to do with anyone else. It has to do with me, pure and simple. I don't like the way I look, and I intend to change that. I think I'm in a place now where I CAN be happy with the image in the mirror, if I get to the right place. I suspect that place is around 125. When I was 125 I wasn't happy...but I think I've grown enough to know that it was a good weight for me to be at, and hopefully I can get there without having too many problems.
I know this was really all over the place; when I think about weight loss and what I want and why I want it and where I know my mind needs to be, I get all discombobulated and can't really organize my thoughts well.
**In wedding related news, I went to my first bridal show yesterday! It was a little weird, but fun nevertheless! My parents and my fiance went with me, and we actually had a good time. And my bridesmaids, completely unexpectedly, are giving me ideas for the wedding itself, so I'm just so excited to have such great girls standing up with me!!
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